i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You're like the curious george of whores
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
