New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
