I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
