so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
