My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
