I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize