i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
