what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
