Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.

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(903): View more from Texas

I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.

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(419): View more from Ohio

i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me

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(850): View more from Florida

Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.

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