How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
