i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
