I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize