Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
