we have officially lost it.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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