hotel room ftw
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
