can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
