hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
