Where is the hickey?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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