i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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