i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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