I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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