You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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