Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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