I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
