Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
