I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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