haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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