she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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