i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
