Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
