recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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