First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
