My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
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