a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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