Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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