Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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