Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
