I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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