You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
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