Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
