This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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