In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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