U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
