Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
