we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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