honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
