smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
