also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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