you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
