question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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