I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
