Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Please don't give away my fajitas
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
