you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I feel like death gave me a hand job
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
