Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
