his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
