i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize