I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Acid is not a monday night drug
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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