If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
