my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
