am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
