Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
