She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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