so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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