If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
