This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
How external is "for external use only"?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
