wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
This is the prime rib incident all over again
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
