Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
