We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
