So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he shaved USA in his pubs
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
